A Tiny Hat

I've never felt more small in my whole life than this week. And I am small. I am a small human being. But this week I felt like no one knew who I was and that I was very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Which are not feelings we should feel. But I did. I do.
It started this Monday when my TMA 201 TA didn't know my name. He kept skipping over me to give other students their tests and then eventually just asked me my name because he couldn't even pick me out of his photo roster. I felt small.
I went to a party with only a couple people who all knew each other and then they all started talking and I just sat and listened.
I felt like I had two friends here in the whole state of Utah.
I felt like my job didn't matter, like my place at BYU didn't matter and I felt so small that I didn't matter.
I have a small face and a small body but I have never felt like this before and it sucks.
I took up knitting again. And I knitted small hats. Baby hats. I don't know why. I had enough yarn to make another big hat but instead I made small hats. I don't know what to do with  them because I'm not small. I can't wear a teeny-tiny hat. Because I am a 19-year-old. I have a job, a major, a minor, a room, friends and family. I take up space and therefore I matter.
I try and try again to do my best because I matter and there is no point in feeling small. Because I maybe 5'3 and 114 lbs but I am not small. I shouldn't feel small. I still don't know what I am going to do with my baby hats, maybe I'll just keep one as a reminder.