Stop Being Afraid

Growing up comes with big stepping stones. Recently graduating high school, getting ready for college and relationships. Maybe this is just an epiphany for me and the rest of you have this figured out. But at 18 I had my first boyfriend, I actually didn't see this one coming. I probably could've had a boyfriend earlier in my life but I was always afraid. People would ask me to hang out and I'd freak out and I would come up with an excuse and then eventually they stopped trying. But at the ripe age of 18 when this one boy asked me to go with him I did. We went to the movies and I thought I was going to throw up or pass out at the same time. But I did it. I finally went on a really amazing date with a really great guy. Soon enough after a couple more dates and me finally texting the words "Um... what are we?" I had myself a boyfriend. June 9th to be exact. Since neither of us were in High School anymore we would hang out on our own time. And it was really great. But then I started thinking about college how I would be leaving my beloved boyfriend behind and a long distance relationship wasn't in the picture. I was afraid. Afraid of getting to close. Afraid of having to leave. Afraid of getting too serious. So one night when I was stuck at home and my boyfriend was hosting a party. I texted the words "I think we should just be friends." And just like that in 19 days I was single again. The minute I said those words I regretted them. I have literally not stopped thinking about it since and its brought my self confidence down and I've cried enough to fix this drought in the central valley. And it all just happened because I was scared of things I couldn't control.

But fortunately, the guy that I told I just wanted to be friends listened to me when I changed my mind. That doesn't always happen not everyone welcomes back their crazy ex-girlfriend. Not everyone gets a second chance. But my boyfriend is extremely loving and understanding even when I don't understand myself.

Stop being afraid.

Stop avoiding situations that scare you.

Start living. Life doesn't stop when you are confused about what you should do. Take each day by the horns and this doesn't just apply to relationships but to anything that scares you. Go to that job interview, go to that audition, and make that first step because nothing ever comes from sitting at home and being afraid.

This is the quote that I think of when I'm scared and then you take a leap of faith.
Good luck! XOXOXO