Q&A with Little Mac

So I have been wanting to do a Q&A post but I couldn’t find the Facebook posted I had that asked for questions and I only got a couple so I just googled “questions to ask.” And I found this great post titled “25 great questions to ask people.” And I was like awesome, that is exactly what I am looking for and then I click on the link and the whole title is actually: 25 Questions To Ask People To Draw Them Out. And I realized that these questions are utilized by therapists…But I still used them. So here you go, Do you know the true Michaella? Who knows you might learn something.

1.  What is your best childhood memory?

My family used to do Friday movie nights before we were all old and wanting to go out. Our dad was always in charge of movie night. We would talk to him about what movie we wanted to watch or what time it started and once that was all figured out we would all flock to the living room. And we would bring all our blankets and pillows and when I mean all of them, I mean our beds were pretty bare. And then our dad would pad the floor with blankets and then have us lay down and throw the rest on top of us. And I had these huge pillows, I think they were supposed to be dog beds, but we always snuggled up on them. And we would watch movies, not one or two but probably three. And then we would all eventually fall asleep there. I loved it and I loved being able to just be there with my family. Ah I love them and miss them very much.

2.  If you had a chance for a “do-over” in life, what would you do differently?

This is probably going to sound cliché, but I’d probably go back to high school. I would do more. I would not botch all my audition because I would scare what other people would think. I would care less about others and care more about myself. Because even today I’ll not try or sabotage myself because I am too scared to put myself out there.  

3.  What do you feel most proud of?

I am most proud of my work experience. I have worked with lots of children and every single time I always get complimented on how well I work with kids. And that is something I pride myself on. I remember being a camp counselor for Hanford High’s Drama Camp, I was only there for the last couple of days, and I remember working with this kid who definitely has some ADHD and I just sat there and worked with him quietly and in that moment I knew that this was what I was good at. I love working with kids and I love being able to see what others can’t and being able to help the kids that need it most. I am proud to be a kid whisperer.

4.  What is your favorite music?

I love to sing more than anything in this world and so I love singer/songwriter stuff. I have a playlist called Killer Slow Jams on Spotify and it just songs I love to sing.

5.  If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why?

I want to go to Rome. And I don’t really know what sparked this interest but I have this need to go to Rome. I saw a girl and she got her mission call to Rome and I cried because that is where I wanted to be.

6.  If you could only keep five possessions, what would they be?

My laptop and my phone because that’s how I stay connected to my family and friends who are spread out all over the globe. I would want my Book of Mormon because I am almost done reading it for the 7^th time and it times of crisis that is where I can go to find peace. I would want to take my boyfriend pillow because it is the most comfortable item I have. My pink sweater because I love it and it makes me happy. And last but not least a BYU T-shirt because Go Cougs!

7.  What teacher in school made the most impact on you and why?

One of the most impactful teachers I know was one that not actually my teacher. Mr. Tubbs was a teacher that I never had, but I certainly wish I had. Mr. Tubbs became a theatre director and that is how I got to know him. And from the second I met him it was like we were longtime friends. I have never met a teacher who was so funny, kind and fair. I remember auditioning for one of his plays and I remember very clearly that I told my sister (who was the stage manager for the show) that I didn’t mind what part I got, as long as it wasn’t Imogene. And that is what I was cast as. I remember being very upset because it was the smallest role and in my eyes wasn’t that interesting. But I knew that I could play the part and still learn and have fun. And I remember a little ways into rehearsals that Mr. Tubbs pulled me aside and started to tell me how sorry he was. He was sorry that he had cast me as the smallest part in the show, that he didn’t realize this but that he had cast me as, what was in his mind, the strongest character. And continued to talk about how he knew I could play any part in the show but he wanted me to be Imogene. He then offered me the part for another girl because someone dropped out of the show. This has stuck with me because in such a world where the Teacher is always right and always knows what’s best, it was amazing to me to see a teacher not only talk personally to a student but to apologize. I love Mr. Tubbs and he will always be a role model to me. Needless to say, I played the best Imogene I could.

8.  What do you want your tombstone to say?

“Over and Out”

9.  What was one of your most defining moments in life?

Getting into Brigham Young University was definitely one of those moments. Because that is when life became really real. I was going to do something that was different, hard, fun and in a different state and I was going to do it because I wanted to.

10.           Why did you choose your profession?

I actually have a whole post about this topic and if you want to go read it and you should because it is pretty good, you can go here: http://mccakesplace.blogspot.com/2014/12/why-i-want-to-be-theatre-teacher.html The post is pretty old, in a couple months it will be a year old. But the feelings are still the same. I love teaching and I will die teaching. And I want to teach theatre because what a great subject to teach that can bring some real life skills in the classroom and what a great tool for self-exploration.

11.           How do you spend your free time?

Haha. That’s funny you think I have free time. When I do I love to blog (obviously), write letters, knit hats, volleyball, soccer, volleyball, basketball, football and currently I am watching Grey’s anatomy on Netflix.

12.           Who do you most admire in life?

I have this friend and I adore her to death. Her name is Kayla. She is definitely a special snowflake that my family has just adopted into our family. I have never met a person that is as nice as she is. She always thinks about what her action will do to others and she truly cares about everyone. Knowing her just makes me want to be a nicer person. I want to get to the point where I can love others as much as she does. She is truly an inspiration to me and is literally #goals.

13.           What are your top three favorite books and why?

I am just going to say that for this question I can’t pick religious books because those will always be at the top and I think want to know a little more about me because you are obviously reading this post. I haven’t been able to do a lot of free reading lately and that breaks my heart but some of my favorite books are: Wonder by Raquel J. Palacio, The Memory Keeper’s daughter by Kim Edwards and then Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. They are all great novels and I read them all in my senior year of high school but I am always looking for new good books to read so if you know some, let me know.

14.           What are you most afraid of?

Not being able to have kids. Most 19-year-olds don’t think about that, but the thought of not being able to have a baby scares the crap out of me. Also someone told me I reminded them of Meredith Grey from Grey’s Anatomy (Do you see it?) and she has a hostile uterus. Hopefully, that’s something that is different between the two of us.

15.           What feels like love to you?

My love language is personal touch so love literally feels like love. I need hugs. Kisses. Handshakes. Pats on the back. Physical contact is what makes me feel loved.

16.           What is your strongest personal quality?

My strongest personal quality is probably my rational advice giving. That sounds pretty pompous. But I have gotten pretty good at assessing situations as a whole. Can I do this in my own life? Who knows? But I am pretty good at figuring things out for other people. Fresh eyes usually help a situation.  

17.           What was your most embarrassing moment?

I specifically remember thinking recently, “Hey I need to remember this when I am asked what my most embarrassing moment is.” But nonetheless I can’t remember. But this story should suffice, recently we were walking back from one of the dorms back to our car and this group of girls is walking in front of us and then this guy walks the opposite way of us all walking and yells out “Racheal!” and one of the girl’s turns around and says “Hey! Who are you?” and he says his name and then she says she doesn’t remember. And at this point they are still yelling because they are still walking in different directions. But he says “Really? We made out the other day!.” At this remark, she starts walking towards him and in result towards us. And of course, we are all trying to stifle out laughs. And she asks, “Are you laughing at me?” And I just couldn’t hold back and I said yes and we all just kept walking. It was a pretty memorable experience.

18.           If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would it be?

The birth of Jesus. Hands down.

19.           What is a skill you’d like to learn and why?

I would love to learn how to knit without the use of a loom. Because knitting with a loom is like knitting with training wheels. Except for the fact that I am 19 and I am still using training wheels. And I really just want to knit socks and baby leggings. Because I’m all about socks and babies.

20.           What does a perfect day look like to you?

The perfect day will consist of the beach, no homework to return to and lots of people who love me just hanging out in the sun. No drama, no school, no sunburns. Just a lot of love and a lot of sand.

Yay! You’ve made it. I hope that you learned something and thought about your answers to these questions. I want to do another post like this next month so if you have questions to ask me, comment down below or you can contact me personally! It makes it more fun, so don’t be shy!

Till next time!

- M 

This week was just another week.

Nothing more and nothing less. Our wifi went out on Monday and didn’t get turned back on till Saturday morning. Somehow I was able to do enough homework to stay afloat this week. But I am pretty far behind so this week will be a lot catch up. Which stresses me out but little bits at a time I will get caught up. And I just had a lot going on this week. Work trainings, activities to make up for fallen-through-dates, trying to find out where I am supposed to be for a meeting and ending up missing it entirely. So this week I feel pretty beaten up. Like BYU getting beaten by Michigan. I am sucking it up in a lot of my classes; especially in my acting class which is embarrassing because that’s my major.  I just haven’t been able to focus. Oh my face is also breaking out which is also embarrassing. So 2/3 categories of life I am still struggling with. Oh but the work category is pretty good. I got promoted to Crew Supervisor. Which is fine and dandy except that none of coworkers think I can actually do it. And always ask me if they need to stay and watch just in case. Which makes me feel like no one thinks I can handle it. So I guess I could say I am being cynical, I am not. Just stating the crap that weighs me down. This week is a new week and it has the potential to be better. Especially with General Conference just around the corner. So chin up folks. Tomorrow is always a new day.

37 Days.

Finished my third week of school. And it has been 37 days since I moved in. What an adventure. If I could use one experience to explain how I am feeling it would be this one. This past week my boss informed me that I had gotten a raise, a .25 raise but it still means that I would be making a couple of extra dollars. But then my workplace had a “schedule audit” and my hours got cut just enough so that the raise got cancelled out. And that describes my life right now. I feel like I take a couple steps forward and then a couple steps back. I think I am caught up on homework and sleep and then I realize I have so much more to do. It’s a torturous process. That’s why I have so many countdowns. If I can just make it to the next day, the next week, the next month; I’ll be okay. Recently I have been trying lots of new things to battle this torturous cycle. I joined a soccer team. Not that I have ever played. But I really wanted to. So I had my first game on Thursday. By the end of the night I think the other team was scared of me. Haha! I was just really aggressive in order to make up for my lack of foot finesse. I bulldozed a couple of girls and kicked a lot of shins. Other than still being sore, it was a great experience and I have another one on Saturday! I am also trying to make eating healthy a goal. But today I also ate a half bag of candy corn… We all make mistakes. And this whole new lifestyle choice, I guess you could say is not for weight loss but more of a detox. I read, and I read a lot of blogs and this week I read a lot of health blogs. My goals are clear skin, less headaches, and less tummy aches. So I am going to buckle down and drink way more water than I do know. Which is only a couple cups a day. I am also going to try less carbs and more veggies, in addition to trying to limit my dairy. (Which I will do after I eat all the yogurt and milk I just bought.) The idea is that I am going to just keep experimenting until my body tells me what is working. It’s a journey and I am actually really excited for. Living on my own means I have the ability to shape what I eat and it can be a great tool to a good life. Just two things that I am doing to help me focus on me and taking care of myself. I am keeping this short because I like to sleep but also because much didn’t happen this week. Just working and school. Have a great week lovelies! 

"I want to be loved."

This post is in response to Elder Ronald A. Rasband, a member of the Quorum of the Seventy, who gave a devotional this morning, Fairness for all. I really liked what he talked about and if you would like to watch it, it can be found on BYUTv’s website.

He spoke about how we need to respect religious freedom for all. And not only that but we need to respect everyone and grant them the fairness they deserve. He spoke about to hypothetical situations where a gay person gets fired for being gay and a Mormon being fired for being Mormon. Both are wrong. We should not be discriminated against for either.  He speaks about how we should stand up and protect each other and not having to accept each other’s views. #FairnessForAll

This is great message. I like it. But I also think we can take it a step further. Fairness seems very distant to me, we can be fair without even knowing who we are protecting. I say we in addition to #FairnessForAll, how about #LoveForAll. Jesus Christ was fair, but I don’t think that is what made him remarkable, but the fact that He loved everyone so much that He did what no one else could do. And yet we are commanded to love one another. And we all know that “golden rule:” treat others the way you wanted to be treated. But we are taught by the Savior himself, to love others as I have loved you. Do you know how He loves us? Perfectly. He loves us in the way we need him to and this is different for every other person. We are to love others not in the way we want to be loved, but in the way they need to be loved.

In Sunday school, before coming back up to BYU we were speaking about how what we say and do can affect others and turn them away from the church. And one of the brethren was speaking about how he had a friend and she ended up being a lesbian. And he was talking to her about her life and she talked about her sons don’t talk to her anymore and she really has not family left. And the brother said, “Well you would think that they would tolerate you more because you are their mother.” And she just looked at him and said “I don’t want to be tolerated, I want to be loved.” And that really resonated with me. Sometimes, we think it is just enough to tolerate, to be fair, to just let it be. But that is not enough. Loving someone, seeing them and knowing them and being able to fully love them as Christ does is what we should be aiming for. Fair is good, but love is better. Let's get rid of the phrase, "We accept all people because we are all sinners." And instead say, "We are all children of our Heavenly Father and I will love you as He does." Maybe that phrase is a little long but hopefuly you get the gist. What better way to bear your testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ then to exercise His love for others in your own life.

These are all just my feelings and thoughts. And not the doctrine of the church. Take it as you will! Till next time!

- M 

Finally a good week.

Those that know me, know that I am pretty tough on myself. And so this always makes new things really hard. I get stressed out and discouraged fairly easy. But this week I was finally feeling good.
Monday there was no school so I think that had a lot to do with it. That extra day makes all the difference. So hopefully I can make this week a good week, even if I do have class and work on Monday. Haha! I can do it! So that day I did tons of homework, cleaning and just prepping for the week. Tuesday I have work in the morning and class till 5. Work started real good. I went to get something out of the drawer and not only did the drawer come out, but it somehow got turned over. Luckily we have big sink so I just through everything in there. I also fell down the stairs in the HFAC that day too. Not a great start to the week, but I decided not to let that get me down. And then the rest of the week was just fine! I have been discouraged lately because I thought I wasn't succeeding in work and in school like I should have. HEY MICHAELLA! IT'S ONLY BEEN THE SECOND WEEK OF SCHOOL. So I just tell myself that. But I killed it during a scene that we did in my beginning acting class. And man, good acting can just change your whole perspective. Another thing that has been a roadblock for me is not being able to be a missionary. Those who know me, don't get crazy. Let me explain what I mean, because I am sure everyone who knows me, knows that I have been saying that I wouldn't go on a mission. This summer I had the opportunity to teach and help he missionaries in my ward. And I loved it. I loved teaching this gospel because I love this gospel. And then I got to Provo. We don't have missionaries in our ward. Everybody already knows about the gospel. So I felt really heartbroken. I had loved being able to teach so I thought about going on a mission. And every time I did it felt weird. I never felt that peace but I felt anxiety and such an unsettling feeling. So I prayed, and I prayed a lot because I felt like I was missing something, that I wasn't doing my part. I get at least 10 emails every Monday from friends serving about all the great things they are doing and I wanted that. And serving a mission isn't a unrighteous decision, so I was very confused. Sitting in Stake Conference, I was listening when a line came to my mind, "You will have the opportunity to serve, just not now." I got my answer. I don't think that was the answer I wanted. But I know that God is aware of me and my desires, but maybe He has something better in mind. And I trust Him. So I will keep doing what I am doing and continue trying my best. This week I did a lot of fun things such as Fall Fest, a Stake Activity at the Provo Rec Center, and to end the week the Lantern Festival. These things just are another witness to me that this is a good place for me right now. I can learn temporal and spiritual things, be surround by great people, and have fun. The Lanterns symbolize good fortune! So here is to making this a great semester, year and life!

If I was six.

If I was six.

I wouldn’t have to pay rent.

I wouldn’t have to worry about buying a car,

I wouldn’t be able to drive anyways.

I wouldn’t be living alone.

I wouldn’t have to take 14 credits.

Or worry about scholarships.

I wouldn’t have boy problems,

Little boys would be afraid of my cooties still.

I wouldn’t know all that I know.

I wouldn’t feel empowered by the trials

That I have been through.

I wouldn’t have the relationships that I cherish.

I wouldn’t have felt the love I’ve loved.

I wouldn’t have a deep testimony of Jesus Christ.

I wouldn’t be the independent women I am today.

I wouldn’t wish to be six. 

Simple, simple poem. I'm a not a gifted writer. But I have things to say. I love thinking about this idea though. We all wish that we could go back to a simpler age where life wasn't too tough or stressful. But at that age we know so little about the world, ourselves, and our divinity. Life would be nice if you were six, but life is worth more when you grow up. Some food for thought. Happy Wednesday! 

-M 

I don't think I was 6, maybe 5. But I was stinking adorable. Enjoy! 

I’m not giving up

One of my goals this summer was to post on my blog twice a week, once on Monday and once on Wednesday. And throughout the summer I failed time and time again. Weeks went by with no post at all but that was then and I am going to continue to try and post twice a week. This being said, Monday’s post will be reserved for a weekly recap and Wednesday will be more of an opinion piece. I was inspired to do this format by all the missionary emails I get every week, I like reading about how they are doing so I figured someone might want to read about mine. And if not it will still be beneficial for me. So let us begin.

                8/31/15-9/6/15

This week was my first week of my second year at Brigham Young University. Here in good ole’ Provo. And what an emotional rollercoaster it has been. Summer was really good to me and moving back and going back to school was pretty overwhelming. This semester I have 6 classes: Exploration of Theatre Teaching, Theatre History. Shakespeare, Acting Fundamentals, New Testament and Intro to Food Science. Those classes all make sense except for the Food Science class, but I needed one credit to keep my scholarship and this one doesn’t have a final and meets once a week. So that is good enough for me. Actually only two of the six have actual finals, so that is exciting. I have a tough load a head of me in addition to the 15 hours of work every week. But I know I can do it. Monday and Tuesday I went to my classes for the first time and I hated everything. I was so tired, I was really angry, I was mad that I had to work so hard and that I had to be on campus for so long every day. But then I reminded myself that it was only the 2^nd day of school and that things would get better. So Wednesday was better, I was happy. And then Thursday I just kind of lost it. Learning Suite was down, so homework couldn’t be done and I was upset. I missed being at home. I missed my friend in Hanford and all over the world. I missed feeling productive and needed. I missed teaching with the missionaries. I was hung up on all the things that I couldn’t have in my life right now. And I just had no will to do anything. I felt really alone.

                I have an amazing support system though. That week I had people text, call, and Facebook message all to see if I was doing well. And I am sure not everyone one of them knew that I needed a friend. I am so grateful for every kind thought that was sent my way. And I am so grateful that God knew exactly where I was in my life and exactly what I needed. So my goal for this next week is to be positive and to try and do my best and that is all anyone can ask for. This week I have read a lot of scriptures and prayed a lot. Because that is where I am able to find peace. So I keep trying. I keep working hard because I know this exactly where I am supposed to be. I get really frustrated when I am sad because I am not supposed to be sad. College is supposed to be great and fun. I am supposed to grow and have a bunch of experiences to tell my children. But right now I am not. And that is frustrating and what is even more frustrating is that I have felt like this last year. I thought I had grown up a lot but apparently I hadn’t which was frustrating as well. So that is where I am at right now. I draw and send out a lot of mail because that relaxes me, I eat a lot of chocolate because that makes me feel better for a moment, and then I pray a lot to feel peace. Right now that isn’t where I want to be, but that is okay. I accept that, that is where I am. And all I can do is proceed forward. And I am excited, excited to see what is in store for the future. But I will take it one day at a time.