NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

BOW BOW BOW. I hope you read that in the voice from that Phineas and Ferb vine. (Not that I could find this said vine. But whatever, still kinda salty.) None the less, IT'S ALMOST 2k16. So this means we are all going to start thinking of things we want to change in our lives. And we are going to start really strong and fizzle out into our own bad habits.

BUT, I say let's not do this.

I say we actually make goals. Not resolutions.

Are these things the same? Well, perhaps.

Goals, I believe are different.

At work I am a crew supervisor, (I know. Go me.) and so every three weeks I have a One-On-One meeting with the owner and he has me set three goals. The goals can be anything. He says that they can be work related or self improvement. He says that if we imporve ourselves then that overall will imporve the store. And these goals work. Some of mone have been driking more water, keeping the store cleaner etc. But they work because every three weeks I get asked about them and I evealute myself. I hold myself accountable for these goals.

SO CHALLENGE.
Write some goals. Give yourself some dates to check in with yourself. Set time to reevaluate yourself and how you are with yout goals.

Don't worry I am going to do it too.

I have some goals.

1. I want to read Preach My Gospel and Jesus the Christ this year. I want to finish reading Preach My Gospel by the end of June and then Jesus the Christ by the end of December.

2.  I would like to learn how to save money better. I want to begin the 52 week money saving challenge starting next week. And I might start putting money away as if I was paying car insurance to make a down payment on the insurance when I finally decide to buy one.

3. I would also like to eat better. Which means some extra planning. Spending and planning meals. I have some real cute printables that is going to help me so this.

4. I would also like to stress less. But that is kinda a unattainable goal. So I am going to rephrase this to saying. I would like to handle stress better. I would really like to attend BYU's Cousneling and Physcological Service (CAPS) stress support group. Talking is hard for me but if I get out of my head I am usually able to relax. Stess group and some phsycail excersize is my plan to help me relax.

5. I need to be social. And I am not quite sure how I am going to do this, but I moved into a a really social place so I mean that's a great start.

6. I also want to serve more. In my New Testament class we speant a lot of time talking about how those who turn outwards will learn more about themselves and will be happier people. I whole-heartedly believe that. So I want to serve some more. I joined a group called Dosomething.orh which sends you little projects you can be involved with on the internet and then I started looking at programs that I can get involved with through BYU and their Y-Serve program.

6 goals is kinda a weird place to stop. But if you think about it I can take each month and focus on one goal twice. I think it'll be a good system.

I still have time to set up solid dates and plans but I think I am off to a great start.

If you really want to make a cahnge this year, do it. Write it out, make it a plan. Tell the whole world you are going to do it so you have some extrinisic motivation for when you just don't really want to follow through.

Years fly by. And you don't know when your last New Year's party is. Time is the most predicatble and yet mind boggling things that we deal with. If you want to make a change, do it today. Make some goals and follow up with someone.

You got this.
Till next time,
- M

Ringin' in 2k16

Christmas is over and coming up is New Year's. I have been home for about a week and I have a little under a week left. I love being home. I love it so much, everything is so much easier.

I am so scared for this new year. I am moving the day I fly home. Moving out to a new place with new girls. I am so nervous. What if they don't like me? What if I have a nervous breakdown and no one is there to help me? Well I guess if they don't like me then I have other firends and can make other freinds. And if I have a break down there are always people I can call. I have amazing supporters and they keep me going.

I have awesome friends. This Christmas I was showered with lots of gifts and kind thougts and I feel bad because I didn't give them any gifts. But they aren't my friends because I give them stuff, they do it because they love me and I am so grateful to have them in my life.

So I am ready.

Bring it on 2016.

I've got my people and we are ready.

I want to write other things but I have lots of feelings that I am trying to sift through so I am going to leave it at this short little post. And I aplogize that I didn't write last wednesday, I was busy making cookies to give to other families. Till next time,
- M

Hanford Holidays 2k15 12/14 - 12/20

Guess who is home?! This girl! And it feels great to be home! To be honest. I was kinda worried about being home, last Christmas being home made me extremely anxious and I begged my mom not to send me back to school. And nothing like that has happened yet and I feel really good about going back. So I am praying for comfort and such so stay tuned!

Before I came home I had finals. I actually love finals week. But man that week kicked my butt. I had finals all day Monday. I took my New Testament final, my Theatre History final, and then did my Shakespeare final which was a performance. And then after that I went to my ward Christmas party and then went and saw The Intern at the dollar theatre. So that was a fun night. AND THE INTERN WAS AMAZING. It was cute, touching and fetching hilarious. Tuesday I went to work and then the temple. Wednesday I worked allllllll day and then I had a date, which was all dandy. Thursday was awesome, had my final performance for my acting class and then I hang out with my friend David and kicked his butt in Settlers of Catan. Friday I worked, packed, and cleaned till I was finally on a plane and arrived in Hanford at like 3 in the morning. So now I am here.

I'm actually really excited to be home. It feels like everyone in Provo is getting married or has a boyfriend and I am quite far from that haha. And of course you are reading this and saying "Oh Michaella not everone has a significant other, you're fine" blah blah blah. But here is the thing, no one talks about or celebrates thier singleness. So it's good to be home where more singles are.

I love the Christmas season. Actually I really just love learing about Jesus Christ. Today I went to church and they were doing the Christmas program. And before church started of course I am talkign and saying hi to everyone adn then one lady she's like go sit with the choir! They need more voices. In my head I am thinking, 'uh no. I will mess it all up.' but, of course I sat up there and sang with the choir. I felt like some people were like, "uh what, is this girl doing?" but I was really just grateful to be up there. I haven't sung in a choir for two weeks and it felt amazing. I love Jesus and I would walk into any choir and sing about him.

Wow. I thought this was going to be longer. I had a lot of thoughts and feelings. But after cleanign the kitchen adn writign a million bajillion emails I lost a lot of those thoughts. But I am glad to be home!
Till next time,
- M

10 of the best qualities a friend could have.

Friends. In my 19 years of life, I've had quite my share of friends. Not all of them have been healthy relationships, but they often lead me to meet other really great people. And so today I want to take some time to celebrate some of these great people that have been in my life.

1. A personal therapist - Everyone should have a friend that can calm them down when they are on the brink of hysteria. I have a best friend, Hayley, and she is this person for me. When I break down and I begin to fall into a panic attack. After trying to breathe on my own  and failing miserably, I can always shoot her a text. Without fail, she can always get me back to a point where I can finally breathe and stop panicking. I don't know how she does this, but she is my wonderful person who can ground me. Everyone should have someone like that. Thank you Hayley!

2. Always down to hang - I have two very best friends, Logan and Megan, who are always down to party. They are the best. They are always down to hang out and if you give them a time, place, and an activity they will be there. It is refreshing to have friends who will actually hang out with you. And it also comes in handy when you just really can't be in the house anymore. Thank you Logan and Megan!

3. Unconditional love - My friend Kayla is a great example of this. She loves my regardless of how long it's been since we talked, what's going on or what the weather's like. And it's wonderful and I'm so lucky to have her. To have a friend that will love you no matter what hits the fan is a liberating and comforting fact. Thank you Kayla!

4. A giver - We moved to this great house when I was in high school and right across the street was a lovely girl named Aubrey and we quickly became friends. Aubrey is one of the most thoughtful people I've ever met. There have been many days where she has texted me to come outside and handed me cookies, a boyou Aubrey!
ok or something sh

e painted for me. She truly thinks about me and shows it. It makes me feel loved and thought about. Thank

5. One who says it how it is - My girl Marissa, who I miss very very much, is the best. She cuts the bull and she is just who she is which is one of the best qualities in a friend. If she has a problem she'll let you know, if you are doing something destructive she will let you know because she loves you. One of the best people I met in high school and we aare still great friends today. Thank you Marissa!

6. Sincere caring - Hannah is one who just amazes me with how much she soncerly cares about people. I can go to her and she will listen, give e advice and just love me through it. She will call me to see what's up because she just loves to love people. Thank you Hannah!

7. A cuddle buddy - Ah. I love hugs and I also love just being held. My sister Macie and my good friend Brooks are the best at this. Not that either of them are here right now, but this is one of the many reasons why I miss them both. Brooks used to let me sleep on his shoulder whenever we watched movies or anything. Macie is just always there. It makes me feel safe and warm. Thanks Macie and Brooks!!

8. A good listener - This is one of the quaities that I thoroughly appreciate because it's hard for me to actually say what I am feeling. So it's important that when I say something it's being heard. I met one of the best listeners this semester. Rachel is awesome and she listens to all the stupid crap that I say and just lets me say it. Which makes me feel like what I say although may not be smart or funny, but is at least worth saying. Thanks Rachel!

9. Low maintenance - These are the best kinds of friends. The ones where they can walk into your house sit down on your couch and just be there with you. You don't have the stress of entertaining them because you are just glad to be there with you. Kayla and Louise are the greatest when it comes to this. I spent so many nights this summer just being with them and it was awesome. Thanks Kayla and Louise!!



10. Discusses movies, books, politics, brownies, the spring musical etc. - Jenni is the special snowflake in this category. She is wonderful for a conversation about whatever and you can really talk about it. It's always a great thing to have an actual conversation that is interesting and it makes me feel like we are actually friends who actually have a relationship that isn't based on one activity or one part of my life. But we are friends because we actually want to be friends. Thanks Jenni!

Obviously, there aren';t the only friends that I have and love but I wanted to point some qualities that I enjoy that a few of them poses. Friends have often been the reason I have ket going and stayed sane. So always remember to be a good friend.

Site Under construction 12/7 - 12/13

My mind hurts. By brain stopped working in prep for finals. So its currently under construction. I'll be better by the end of this week. And I'll be in Hanford late Friday night.

Some feelings about Christmas Cheer.

November 1st. This is that day that many people begin playing Christmas music. Christmas radio stations start cropping up. And I avoid them like the plague.
The day after Thanksgiving. The day where even more people decide it is now an appropriate time to constantly  listen to Christmas music. And I tend to avoid these people.
December 1st. Most of the population is now listening to Christmas music in a constant stream. I'm just now if at all starting to listen.
Christmas music is often the cause of my many headaches. The Christmas season can be all too stressful. But how come?

I mean I am just trying to get through the last 2 weeks of the semester.
And all of the sudden I feel the sudden need to buy presents to show my appreciation for the people that I love. Which wouldn't be a big issue if I had more than 13.24 in my bank account. I feel that I need to have fun, do nice things, play in the snow, and be festive. The need to buy and  put up a Christmas tree, stockings, and garland. To watch Rudolph and Frosty. Give change and deliver cookies. How could any of this be stressful?

Most of us love the Christmas season because everyone seems a little bit kinder. That Christmas cheer makes the person that just cut you off not so aggravating. The kid screaming in the grocery store a lot cuter with his little Santa hat. And that creepy guy at work just a little less creepy. The Christmas spirit does this and more.

I'm not sure why.

One might say the spirit of Jesus Christ. We begin to have our hearts warmed and are led to be more giving, understanding and overall just kinder. The thought of the Savior of the world being laid in the manger leads us to be better versions of ourselves. Because that after all, its the reason for the season. We are celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. But this isn't the only holiday surrounding Jesus Christ. Easter celebrates Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice and yet the feelings aren't the same. The joy and kindness that surrounds the month of December are not reoccurring around April. But in both instances we are celebrating Jesus Christ. There are people who celebrate Jesus every single day and yet Christmas still has this  has this affect on them. Could the Christmas Spirit come from this celebration of the Savior? .

Christmas has become a more and more secular holiday. It celebrates Santa, Rudolph and a sense of magic that seems to waft from the North Pole. Families can celebrate Christmas without even mentioning Jesus once and yet somehow they are still motivated to be a kinder, softer, version of themselves. Maybe it is because of the threat of being on the naughty list. Without the mention of a religious figure, Christmas straightens the moral compass of many, even if just for the season.

Many would agree that this is the reason that they enjoy the season. Everything and everyone  is just a little warmer, kinder and there seems to be an endless supply of magic in the air. I mean, what other holiday could grow a Grinch's heart two times it's normal size?

I don't understand it. How could one day a year, December 25th, generate such a change of character in a population? Most would agree regardless of how, it is a great thing.

For a season we show that we are all capable of being a better person. December 26th, the tree is put away, stockings are folded and stuffed into a box, wrapping paper is recycled and we stick our happy kind selves away until the next Christmas season.

They should've made a second Grinch movie, The Grinch summers in Whoville, after Christmas was over did his heart shrink? Without the Christmas spirit did his heart become small again? Is the only way he could be kind to the Whos is by being surrounded by Christmas lights and carols? Because I see it every year. We are all warm and fuzzy and as if overnight we revert to our own ways. And we give ther bird to the guy that cut us off. Complain about the screaming child. And the creepy guy is just as creepy again.

I'll own up to it. I don't understand this Christmas Spirit Affect, that I also get caught up in. I think it is sad that we can be nice for really just a day someone decided to make up. To show that we are capable of being better human beings but only if there is a Christmas album playing in the background.

If only the world was like Christmas all the time. If we were all thoughtful and more giving regardless of how many days are left till Santa comes. Because in the end, he never actually comes down a chimney.

This post is quite cynical? No? But is it true? Or not? Don't get me wrong. I love Christmas but I also don't buy into it as the greatest day of the year nor the greatest holiday. But these are just my thoughts. Feel free to comment!
Till next time!
- M

Fight for the Happy Ending 12/30 - 1/6

I create weird ways in which the way life is supposed to work. Not truly thinking about it, I've always had this idea that a boy should always fight for you. The idea that in the face of adversity they would still pursue you or else they just didn't care enough about you. I don't know where this screwed up way of thinking came from, maybe from the numerous chick flick marathons that I have participated in. But nonetheless, it's kind of a dumb way to think. However, let's drop the guy for a moment. How about the idea that in the face of adversity we still fight for ourselves, we pursue our needs, wants, and fight for our happy ending. This a much better way to think, well just in my perspective.

This week was an emotional rollercoaster. I called my mom a lot this week.
I had this big plan. To move into an apartment complex with one of my friends, that is already living there. She had an open bed and sign-ups were on Tuesday. So we were ready and excited. And it didn't happen. I was so frustrated. Because I had felt like this was what was supposed to happen, that I had felt prompted and led to do this. And I was mad. I was heart-broken. But more importantly, I was lost. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. There is a swing set outside our house. So in the snow, I just sat there and cried. I cried and cried while dragging my feet in the snow. I left a very sad voicemail for my mom and eventually the crying stopped. And I just sat and left the snow alone. I made a choice. I could sit here and be mad. Or I could get up and try to do something about it. I came inside, still a little mopey and I started looking around and make some calls. And by Friday, I signed a contract.

I found a place that was affordable and supposedly really fun to live.

Most people I talk to understand. Others don't. In the end, it's not their choice. It's mine. And it's hard for me to explain why I did it. But I felt it before I did it. I am excited for what is in store for me.

Also, I got accepted into the Theatre Education program at BYU. A huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders. I am nervous and excited to start taking classes and pursuing my dream. I am excited for auditioning next semester and doing what I love.

I also initiated 2 dates this week. I didn't want to stay home on the weekend. So I didn't. Go me.

Life can be hard. Trust me. I know this to be true with every part of me. But that isn't the end-be-all. We have to get up. Get off the swings in the snow and get to work, because no one is going to fight for you, if you don't fight yourself. Be the strong person you know yourself to be. Because you can do this.
Till next time,
- M

Q&A with Mitch. 9 questions for girls from boys.

If you haven't noticed every time I do a Q&A I use a different nickname of mine. This time, it's Mitch, which is the nickname my Catan Clan back home adorned me with. (Catan, as in Settlers of Catan. As in my favorite board game of all time. It's more than just a game.) But for this Q&A I went on the hunt for questions that boys want girls to answer. And obviously I am only one girl, but I've been on for quite a while so I think I know what I am talking about. But just to make sure I questioned a couple of good friends and asked what they had to say. A big thanks to Hayley, Madison, Sophia, Kayla, Chrissy, Amand, Brianna and Aubrey. So let's get started.

1. Why do girls have so many shoes?
Amanda says, "A shoe is a nice way to live a glamorous life!" and I totally agree. There is no logical reason why we have lots of shoes. I think that I don't have a lot of shoes, but then I remember the two baskets of shoes sitting in my closet. Girls like shoes and I think because there are so many different types. We can take our pick from sandals, flats, heels, boots, tennis shoes and then each of these categories can be broken down even further into sub-categories. We have to be prepared for any occasion and any outfit. And have you ever heard of retail therapy? Having cute shoes can just turn your day around. Shoes can also be a social thing. Madison became really good friends with a guy who complimented her shoes which led to them having a good conversation.
But simply put by Hayley,
A. There is no such thing as too many shoes
2. Shoes make us happy
D. I just like shoes okay?!?!

2. Why do girls read more than boys?
I thought this was an extremely interesting question. I did some research and it's true across the board girls often read more than boys. And by this I mean reading for fun. I don't have "the" answer nor do I think that there is one answer. But girls like to feel emotions and reading can be cathartic. We can step out of the anxious, sad, lonely body that we are in and walk in the body of another character. Reading is good for the soul. My favorite response was from Amanda, "I don't think I know a girl who hasn't curiously picked up a Nicholas Sparks book for the heck of it." It's true, we love to read. But I don't know why boys don't as much.


3. Why are girl's so confusing?
Haha. This question made me laugh. Because it is true, girls are confusing. And it's not even because we try to play games. It's often because we are confused ourselves. Have you ever tried to explain something while you're confused? It makes everything worse.

4. Why do girls ask guys to be honest but then get angry with the answer?
This one had two very popular answers. One being the idea that we already know the truth and we just want you to say it. Often in these scenarios the truth isn't pretty. Second, idea is that we either expected or wished for a different idea. The idea that we don't want the truth, we want the answer we want to hear. This makes it even worse because the two ideas contradict each other. We either a. know the truth b. we know what we want to be the truth. But we don't believe that this si just a girl thing. We all have expectations and when they don;t get met or they get broken, it's upsetting. Or as Sophia puts it, "Because guys are stupid and give stupid responses so we get mad at their stupidity." There really is no easy way to go about this. Honesty is the best policy though, right? Well as long as she's being honest with you about what she wants the answer to be. Maybe? We gave you some answers to why, but I've got nothing for you on the how side of things.


5. Why don't girls ever give nice guys a chance at a relationship?
Chrissy helps break this down saying, "Girls DO want nice guys!! The idea of a "nice guy" is so often misconstructed because they really are hard to find and often too narrowly defined. How many guys do you know who you can say are genuinely nice?" I think that nice is such a broad word to describe someone. And this can lead to many differnt ideas of what a nice guy is. As a boy you could believe that you are a nice guy but she may have heard something you said or did that is not "nice." Happens to me all the time. A guy can say something, like about politics, other girls, or a bad joke, and I won't think of them the same way anymore. Here is the thing, there is so much to a relationship than being "nice". Be a guy that can be desribed as kind, funny, confident, loving, etc. The other side of the story is the bad boy. Why do girls go for the bad boy? Most of the girls agreed that it has to do with his confidence. Hayley puts it, "Bad boys" are usually more foreward, more confident. We respond better to that because we are scared to make the forst move. But we all want someone whose nice. Kind. Warm." The bad boy is intriguing, edgy, and so when we are looking for a little fun, adventure, or are just tired of serious realtionships falling through with "nice guys" we find a bad boy. However, Amanda brought up a great point, "For some girls, it takes time to realize what's best for them... and others don't even realize they are dating a bad boy until things get out of hand."

6. Why are women not straight forward/want guys to read their minds?
Aubrey answer blew me away because of just how accurate it it. She stated, "Women want to be understood at a deep level, you wouldn't have to tell your best friend when you're mad, they would already know because you have a strong bond. That's what girls expect in a relationship and from their boyfriends." I really agree with what she had to say. Other things that were discussed was the idea that we've worked out so many scenarios in our heads that we would have to spend so much time explaining and figruing out how much you know that we just need you to figure it out. The idea that we don't necessarily know what we want, we're too afraid of the outcome, or we aren't ready to talk about it. Madison says, "I don't expect guys to read my mind, but if I look distressed I'd hope they would be able to tell! Not necessasrily mind reading just a little bit of body language reading."


7. Do periods really hurt or are they just an excuse for sympathy/to be a jerk?
I think this is something that boys truly will never understand. It is a feeling that you'll never experience until you have all the parts. But we can at least try and explain for your sake. Let my good friend Aubrey explain it for you, "Have you ever had blood seeping through your innards uncontrollably with your lining being ripped from the walls that were supposed to carry a child but aren't currently do they leave. Does that sound pleasent.?" They really hurt and yet we are expected to function and carry out normal tasks. You probably won't even know unless we get abnormally sassy or hormonal and blame it on Mother Nature. Some periods are better than others. But don't forget, there are two sides to the mestration cycle (well there are more but for this purpose we will stick with the two). The actual period and then just general PMS. Think of PMS as drunk people, you've got your sad drunk, your hyper-overactive happy drunk, your angry drunk etc girls take their periods and alchohol differntly. We aren't exaclty the same. Some girls aren't in a lot of pain and emotional others are just perfectly fine. But overall as Sophia says, "Periods are temporary death." Informed by one of the girls I questioned, there is even a diagnosis for painful cramps. Dysmenorrhea. Just the sound of it makes me cringe. Periods hurt and most of us would do anything to make the pain stop. Heating pads, hot showers, Midol, etc. So the truth is periods are painful, but sometimes we use it as an excuse. But Hayley speaks for the crowd of us when she says, "I'd be lying if I said I never used a period as an excuse not to do something or eat an extra cupcake." But Chrissy again reminds us that, "Sometimes, it is really a valid excuse But I guess you don't know that unless you are that women." Overall, periods hurt but then again it is an excuse that is always there. You'll never know.

8. Why do we have to put the toilet seat down? Why can't you leave it up for a change?
Imagine this, you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. You're already upset because you are awake. You stumble to the bathroom and go to sit down and you fall in the toilet. No your awake and your bare butt just fell into the toilet bowl. You might laugh but I saw an espisode of Untold Stories of the ER where a woman got stuck in the toliet. The ambulenace had to come unscrew the toliet adn take her to the hosipatal. And why would we leave it up, we sit no matter what. And I mean, one girl confessed about just leaving it up and squatting. But then again who really wants to have to use unnessasry muscles when going to the bathroom. Chrissy puts her foot down here, "America was established as a free country in the year 1776. Women had to wait until the year 1920 for the 19th amendment to be ratified, granting us the right to vote. After waiting all that time and still fighting for gender equality today, the least men can do is put the seat down when they are done." There you have it.

9. Why is it girls insist on pretending to not like a guy when the really do?
This one was the same across the board, for every girl I talked to. We are afraid of being vunerable. As Chrissy puts, "It's not so much that we pretend to not like a guy as much as it is we try to fool ourselves before we catch the feels." We are putting a safe guard from being rejected.
VUNERABILITY IS SCARY. We want to make sure we really want to do this. Make sure we aren't going to get hurt right off the bat and to make sure your the guy we think you are. Knowing you are sharing yourself is "scary and magical" as simply put by Hayley. We care what you think. We are just making sure we are all on the same page before we make the first move.

There you have it. Thank you again so much to the girls who took the time to answer these questions. They are wonderful ladies and I hope they helped you understand the female race a little better. And thank you to the boys who let me ask them for questions. If you have any thoughts on what was said or more questions, comment below!
As for our giveaway winner, Rena you are the winner! Email me so that we an get your prize to you!
Till next time!
- M