The Dates from Hell.

Well, they weren’t that bad. But the title has a nice ring to it don’t you think? If you have ever felt bad for your own love life and are looking for some support or a good laugh, look no further.

You don’t have to tell me that dating is hard. Trust me, I know. And that’s why things like this happen. We put ourselves out there, we get shut down. The other person puts themselves out there and we push them away. And there we have it, three fabulous stories.

Let’s get started.

1.       Let’s start with my first ever actual date. It was a date to a dance. Not a school dance but to the “Mormon Prom” or as I like to call it “Mormal”. I was asked through a balloon tied to a bag of candy that also contained a note to decode that asked me to go to the dance. At first I handed the balloon to my sister because I thought if a boy was asking someone out, it had to be her (but that’s a story for another day). After figuring out that I was the one being asked and I said yes. I got a purple dress, coordinated the tie and got the shoes. The first problem for the Mormal, people from Coalinga, Corcoran, Lemoore, Selma etc. so most places have a dinner before the dance. My date wanted me to drive over to their town and have dinner there. The dance was in Hanford, why would I drive to another town just so I could drive back. So he was salty about that. But we get to the dance I am armed with my corsage and he has his boutonniere. The second we get there he says, “I have to go help in the kitchen.” So I walk in alone and find someone to talk to. And my date didn’t talk to me basically the whole dance. I sat alone, found some friends to talk to, and watched as my date danced with other girls and his occasional wave. So that was a blow to the self-esteem and luckily the night was over soon. So people start leaving, my dad came to take my sisters home, I begin to search for my date.  I finally found him and I asked him when he was going to take me home. And this is what he said, “Sorry, I can’t take you home.” Luckily my dad hadn’t left and I ran embarrassed to the parking lot to find him. The night was over and the date was too. Tears were shed but why wouldn’t they?

Later to find out that he was told he had to take someone to the dance. I was just the lucky lady.

2.        I like to call this story the-broken-penis-guy-story. If you are someone who I call a close friend I am sure you know this story. But here is the story in all its glory and splendor. From the very beginning. There was this guy in my theatre class, not one of my favorite people, but we were friends. And I knew that he was going to be gone for surgery and so I texted him the day of the surgery being the nice person that I am.  So we were talking and he was like “Let’s go out!” and I was like “Okay.” And he wanted to go the same day he had his surgery and I spent an hour trying to convince him that, that was a bad idea. And in the end we went on the date. I soon knew that he had surgery on his groin. If he hadn’t have told me I would’ve realized it by his penguin waddle. So we went to Zeek’s to get burgers and shakes, we talked for a while. (Fun Fact about Michaella when I am nervous my stomach hurts, this is an important fact for the rest of the story). So then he is like “Hey, let’s go watch a movie,” so I was like okay… Me thinking that this means movie theatre begins to freak out about the fact that he is walking me into his apartment. My stomach begins to hurt more. I sit on his crappy couch as he fetches a blanket, I refuse the blanket. Blankets equal cuddling and I was not about to do that. At this point, I feel like I’m going to upchuck the whole world. So I begin moaning and shifting around until he finally asks me if I’m okay and ends up taking me home. Not the worst date I’ve ever been out on but it gets worse. So in class he started to avoid me and I was like that’s weird. So I was speaking to a friend in that class and I just started talking to him and she was like “Well he is basically engaged, I wouldn’t talk to you either.” BOOM SMASH and BANG. HELLO. I felt stupid. I felt more than stupid I felt a mixture of stupid, embarrassed and mad. So with all these feelings I ended up ignoring him back to the point where he texts me to ask “if anything is wrong between us.” After several texts back and forth I ended the conversation with “don’t you have a fiancé to talk to.” And just recently I got an e-vite to their wedding. And there goes the story of the-broken-penis-guy.

3.       This story is one of my favorites. Anyone who knows me knows that I can always raise the awkwardness level ten-fold. So let’s start out first with a little lesson on some Mormon slang. There is a phrase called “filling the canteen” and it is used to refer to young men before their missions who date a lot of girls and make out a lot. Because they aren’t going to get any on their missions. So this boy asked me out and he was trying to fill his canteen. And I was very aware of this (because I knew of all the other girls he was also trying to take out on dates). So I thought what the heck. We decided to do dinner and a movie. But apparently he had practice and so we couldn’t set up a time so I was like on-call for this date. We didn’t have time for dinner so we grabbed a smoothie and got to the theater. Lucky for him I know the managers so he didn’t even have to pay for my movie ticket. But he did get a scare when one of the guys I don’t know came and asked for our tickets. But during the movie, he held my hand. And I won’t complain I like hand-holding and cuddling etc. (And my hamartia is that I’ll probably let anyone  hold my hand.) But then the movie ends and after me striking down his ideas of staying out to star gaze, walk in parks, and whatever he takes me home. As we pull up into my drive way I gather my things and then he leans in and instead of going in for it I say “Oh no way.” I said that out loud. It was audible. Maybe had never been shut-down because he was surprised and said “what?” He then offered to walk me to the door and then I yelled “Nah I won’t get raped” as I ran to the door. It must have been really bothering him because he texted me multiple times and tried to get me to go out with him again. But now he is gone on his mission with only a partially-filled canteen. And just to set the story straight hand holding can be casual and yet kisses cannot.

Well, I hope you enjoyed these stories and I am sure there are more to come. Comment your horrible date stories and we can laugh together.  

My face everytime I have a bad date. 

How to be happy in five steps

Sorry that I didn't blog on Wednesday. Tuesday night I took time for some reflective writing; these last couple of weeks have been pretty stressful. And then Wednesday I was fishing all day with my some of my favorite people, one who is going to Portugal and others who are moving to Sacramento.  I apologize but after all that I felt a lot better. And so this post is focused around that very thing.

I am not a sickly-optimistic person and I understand that life happens and you at some point are going to feel like crap. BUT you don't just have to feel bad. Feelings are fluid and you can influence how you feel. These are just some tips to get you out of your slump.

1. Sleep is key-- Go on twitter at 1:30 at night and you will see who is having a hard time. This generation loves to stay up late and over think and turn to social media. But guess what? Staying up late may make you feel better temporarily but in the end sleep deprivation will cause you to stay upset. Sleep deprivation is defined as not sleeping long enough, bad quality sleeping or sleeping at the wrong time of day. We justify staying up till 2 AM because we can sleep in the next day, but this is not beneficial. Trying to sleep when it's daylight is really hard and yes we can do it (I have before) but the quality of sleep is lack-luster. And in the end it just leaves you tired, decreasing your alertness, a decrease in performance levels affecting every aspect of your life. BUT GUESS WHAT? Sleep refreshes the mind, allows you to be alert and perform, overall increasing your quality of life. Instead of staying up just because you are turn off your phone, turn off the music, turn off the tv and just go to bed. If you lay in bed for fifteen minutes without moving you will fall asleep and that is a fact. If you can't calm down while lying there the counting sheep thing isn't a myth. Focus on one thing. I focus on my breathing when I can't sleep. And eventually sleep comes. Sleep will help you get back on the road to happiness because it truly refreshes the body and the mind.

2. Find a confidant-- Keeping feelings inside is destructive. We stress out about the scope of our problems and eventually drown in our own sorrows. Talking about what is bothering you helps you to realize what is actually bothering you, see that they aren’t huge problems, and discuss solutions. Find a friend, family member, a god. Just someone to talk to. By conversing about our thoughts and concerns will help you become happy again because you will learn more about how you are feeling and realize that you are not alone.

3. Find out how to calm yourself down—Sometimes we get to the point that we cannot think straight because we are so emotional. Emotions aren’t bad but, thinking when you are too emotional, makes life hard. For me, to calm myself down I take showers, I write, listen to music. Sometimes it is best to take a break and to stop thinking. Jumping from extremely upset to happy is not a realistic jump. Becoming calm is just part of the process to feeling better.

4. Look forward—It’s so important to realize that this will pass. Today does not stay and tomorrow will always come. You don’t have to be happy today but you will be happy again.

5. Get out there tiger—Focus on a new goal. Move on from what is bogging you down. Try a hobby, a sport, or volunteer work. Literally anything. When we are productive we are able to feel better about ourselves because we are able to see our talents and that we can affect the world. The question “why am I important” can be answered. Feeling good about your abilities will help you find happiness again.

Feeling bad isn’t a bad thing. It’s natural. But it doesn’t have to stay forever. 

F

19 things I have learned in my 19 years of Life.

Inspired by Jody Allared’s post on Ravishly. And that can be found here:

http://www.ravishly.com/2015/07/08/37-things-ive-learned-my-37-years

I turned 19 a little over a month ago, but I was inspired to make a list of things I know and have learned since being here on this planet. 19, still a teenager, but not for long. Seen as a child and yet treated as an adult. What a confusing life. But I have learned a few things.  

1. Just because someone is an adult doesn’t mean they are right. Just because they are older doesn’t mean the way they think is correct. They aren’t always right and it’s good to question them.
2. Friends are important. But school and work need to be a priority as well.
3. Just because they got into college doesn’t mean they are smart. Learned that from a kid in my biology class that asked if I thought this class was relevant to his major. He was going into Genetics.
4. You don’t owe any boy a date. Just because he is nice to you and called to ask you out literally means nothing. If you don’t want to go out with a boy, you don’t have to regardless of how nice he was to you.
5. Just because you are nice to a boy doesn’t mean he is going to ask you out. Even if he did use almost all your Nyquil when you let him borrow it. That street goes both ways.
6. If your religion doesn’t influence every aspect of your life, what is the point?
7. Listen to whatever music you want. And don’t worry what people think. It only matters if you like it.
8. It’s okay to wear your hair the same two days in a row. It is also okay to wear the same outfit next week. No one really cares.
9. Buying a nice bra isn’t splurging, it’s investing.
10. Not everything in your life needs to be matchy-matchy and cute. If you do that you are going to be broke.
11. Asking for help isn’t being a burden. Everyone has to eventually.
12. Forming an opinion is just that. Don’t be ignorant. Learn about the subject and talk to others and then decide what you think. And remember opinions are just that.
13. A fire alarm going off at 4 in the morning the week of finals isn’t ideal. But you might as well laugh. Because if you think about it, it is actually hilarious.
14. Sing in the shower. As loud as you can. It’ll make you feel better.
15. Crap happens. It doesn’t mean you need to sit in it. MOVE ON.
16. Grades are important. But so is a good resume. Balance is key.
17. Hug your mom while you can.
18. Looks will literally get you nowhere. Maybe some Instagram followers and a stalker or too. But that is it so stop focusing on it. Unless you are going into modeling...
19. Time flies.

Here you go. I think I’ve learned a thing or two. 

Hello! I’m Sister Scholz!

This post is dedicated to the LDS missionaries serving all around the world.

Some of you know that I am Mormon and for those of you who don’t—SURPRISE! I’m Mormon. Some of you also know that I live in the Fresno, California region and The Book of Mormon musical is coming to the Saroyan Theatre in Fresno. A lover of theatre and a Mormon, what a predicament.

First off, if you love this musical, have seen, or just love belting the songs anywhere that doesn’t mean you are a bad person, that you hate Mormons, or that we hate you. It just means you love the musical. Second, this musical is not an accurate representation of Mormon Missionaries and should be treated as such. The authors, Trey Parker, Robert Lopez, and Matt Stone, have written other works together including South Park and Avenue Q. And is very much the same style as The Book of Mormon musical. The musical is described as a religious satire musical and should be viewed as one. This musical is for pure entertainment and should be used just as that. If one actually wants to learn about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints this musical is not a tool that should be learned to be used.

Being 19 and a Mormon girl is harder than being a normal girl.

I have so many friends who are leaving me this year and won’t be back till 2017.

Most of us don’t think that far ahead, but I do.

But I am so proud of them because of the works that they are participating in. Most everyone has seen a Mormon Missionary, on a bike, in Wal-Mart, or right before the door was slammed. Maybe you have even hidden from them. But I’m here to tell you a little bit more about them.

The mission age was just change which rocked a lot of kid’s worlds and maybe not in the best way. Boys were able to serve a mission when they were 19 and girls were able to serve when they were 21. And then they would submit your mission papers 120 days prior to his or her availability date; which is the earliest they could go on a mission and at that time they have to be the required age. But then in October 2012 they changed the mission age to 18 for boys and 19 for girls. Which created a flood of missionaries pouring into Mission training centers around the world. There are a lot of speculation about why the mission age was changed, so they could enter the temple sooner, get more kids out there, to keep this generation out of trouble etc. But these missionaries are not that old at all and yet are being shipped across the world. Kids whose biggest step is just moving out and attending college are living in apartments in unknown places and following strict schedules every day for two years, (for girls it is 18 months).

It is taught within the church that the young men should all go on missions. And that girls have the opportunity to go on a mission.

And this right here is a red flag for some, they think CULT! OH MY GOSH YOU ARE FORCING THESE YOUNG MEN TO GO ON MISSIONS AND THEY HAVE NO CHOICE AND THAT’S JUST WRONG.

Or some other dramatic declaration.

But, our church believes in personal revelation, which means we believe that we can ask for guidance from God and he can guide us in the right direction. And many young people use this daily in their lives when looking at colleges, looking for spouses, picking majors and go figure, deciding on whether or not to go on a mission. And sometimes the answer is no, even to young men. I personally know a couple of them and this is acceptable. Being a missionary is not something that is required to reach the Kingdom of God, but it brings others to it and that is why it is important. And yet we can also teach others without going on a mission. That being said no one is ever forced by the Church to go on a mission. Some are even honorably excused from serving because of health issues and such.  

But if you think about it there might be a reason that boys are asked to serve. Crazy, right?

This is just my speculation, but I think it is a pretty good one so I’ll share. Men in the Church have the opportunity to receive the Priesthood. Which is described as the Power of God. The same power that Christ used to bless the sacrament, baptize and perform miracles. We also use this same power to bless the sacrament, baptize, and perform miracles in addition to many other ordinances. And all Elders on a mission have this power and without this power missions would not be possible. They would not be able to baptize, confirm or give personal blessings. It’s not that men are better missionaries that women or that they are more capable but because they have this power.

Then the dramatic yeller might come in and say BUT WOMEN DESERVE THAT POWER AND THAT’S NOT FAIR! GIVE IT TO THE WOMEN.

Our Church gets a lot of flak for that. But because that has been the way the priesthood has been used since the beginning of the church and I’m not talking about the Mormon religion but since Christ but even before him it isn’t going to change. Women have special attributes and “powers” but they just aren’t the same as the priesthood and that is okay.

Now that I have talked about how people decide and when they can go on a mission let’s actually talk about a mission. After one’s papers are submitted they receive a mission call within two to three weeks after. A mission call is a fat envelope with a letter from the presidency of the church that tells you where you are going and when. There are 406 missions one could serve in all over the world and 15 Mission Training Centers. I have friends in Denmark, Chile, Ohio, New York, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Spain, San Diego and Idaho. And I will soon have friends in Finland, Portugal, Colorado, New Jersey and various other places.

While on their missions they don’t get to call home, except for on mother’s day and Christmas, go swimming, use fireworks, go hang out, and they have one day a week (usually Monday) called P-Day or preparation day where they can email home, answer letters, meet with other missionaries, get a game of soccer in etc. And so many people when I tell them this ask get freaked out and ask why? And usually I just tell them it’s so they can focus. Because a mission ideally is basically just serving others and by not focusing on being home sick or what is going on at home allows for the work to come first.

Missionaries knock on thousands of doors, make teaching appointments with millions, and are able to change lives with the gospel. 

The Book of Mormon is what they use to teach because if it is true then the rest of our religion is true. It is the corner stone of the church. The Book of Mormon is a record of people in Ancient America and it was translated by Joseph Smith. It is another testament of Christ and is used so much in our religion because like the Bible it is a work of scripture but has only been translated once and therefore has not been manipulated.

I know that this book is true because I have read it five times and I just started my sixth. I know that God knows who I am and I can receive guidance from Him about my life. And that this church is the light that most people are looking for and I am so blessed to have been born into this church. So maybe the musical is cool but I think the real Elders are cooler. 

If you have any questions you can always ask me or the missionaries in your area.

http://www.mormon.org/missionaries

SUMMER CAMP

Summer has been busy, busy, busy. But that is how I like it. Last week I finished two summer camps: the 5C Experience at West Hills College Lemoore and the 1^st Annual Drama Camp at Hanford High School. The 5C experience consists of eight camp days and two training days and the Drama Camp consisted of six camp days and a counselor retreat. (These two camps were about the same time which meant I was only able to help out two of the six days at the drama camp.) Some people might think that summer camp isn’t worth it and that people like me, ones who would spend every day with children, are crazy. And yet we keep doing it. And why? Because it means something.

Every day at West Hills we would have a staff meeting and within one of these meetings one of our teachers said, “You never know, your hug maybe the only hug they receive that day.” And I’m not going to pretend that every child lives in a broken home and is neglected. But for those kids your love and attention means something. And for those kids who do have supportive families sometimes it’s nice to be recognized by someone who is not related to you. Remember that saying “It takes a village to raise a child?” Even though villages for us are a thing of the past the concept reigns true. Children need constant attention and it’s hard for parents to constantly attend a child, work, and attend to other callings etc. Children need attention because it is important to many aspects of their learning and growing and summer camps are one way to increase that attention.

In addition to the extra love a summer camp supplies, it also can show that being silly is okay. The kids I worked with were from ages 6-14. And for 6-year-olds it’s expected for them to be silly but as a child approaches high school age they feel like they have to preserve a self-image and often times that self-image doesn’t include being silly. Kids become “too cool” at a very early age. It is important that children see older kids, especially kids that they look up to, be silly. When your parents dance around and be silly doesn’t mean much, but when a college student who is idolized by younger kids does mean something. But some might say that being silly isn’t important and that the sooner children grow up the better. I have a problem with this. I’ve sat through so many classes in high school where kids are too afraid of trying things because they might look dumb or they care too much about what other students think. Kids aren’t realizing their full potential because they are too afraid. Watching a student perform half-heartedly is discouraging when you know they can do better. Being silly allows the student to feel less embarrassed, smile more, and show others that it is okay to be silly.

Another reason that kids should go to summer camp is summer camps can be inspiring. How often are your kids inspired? Inspired to go to college, to try new things, to get on stage and perform, to believe in themselves. Summer camps are special because they are different, they aren’t the normal schedule and guess what? THEY LEARN THINGS. It’s different than school. I wish I could convey my feelings to you but I thought that this video produced by Larrin Baker the Video Maker for 5C does a better job.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHWb8NvjkHw&feature=youtu.be

If you are reading this and you didn’t watch it, go back and click on the link. In a world where we are so accepting of ideas such as: “I’m just not good at math,” “I’m just not musical,” or the classic “I might not even try because I already know that I can’t do it right,” it is amazing to see what happens to children we someone believes in them enough to push them.  

I could spend a life-time talking about this topic. Because I believe in kids so much. And you should too. Because the world will soon be in their hands. If you would like to support a summer camp today the 5C Experience is already panning for next year and has created a go fund me account.

http://www.gofundme.com/5cscholarships

This account is used for scholarships so we can send more students to the camp. If you would like to learn more about this camp this is their website.

http://www.westhillscollege.com/lemoore/students/student_programs/5c_experience/

A year in review: From an anxiety prone college student.

A year ago from next month, a strange timeline but that is what it is, I embarked on my first year of college. Unlike a lot of the kids, or if you prefer to call them adults, I was not attending Fresno State or a college 4-5 hours away in California. I decided to move 12 hours away to a different state. And I was excited, proud, and extremely nervous. My first semester was everything that it should’ve been. It was challenging, unpredictable and really fun. I worked, took 15 units and had a blast. After that, my roommate showed me the ropes of air travel and soon I was home for Christmas Break. Again, unlike the other students around me, I only had 2 weeks of Christmas vacation and that thought was always in the back of my mind. So as I tried to enjoy visiting my family and the Christmas holiday, I would get overwhelmed with the fact that I would have to leave again. It hurt my heart that family events and activities would proceed without me and one night I fell apart in the lap of my Mom begging her to let me stay. And her wise words still did not completely soothe me but nevertheless they drove me and my roommate to the airport and we left for the cold, not so quiet campus. A couple weeks later I had planned a quick trip to come home for the weekend to see a high school show and visit my family and friends again. I caught a red-eye flight and soon I was home. This was probably not the best thing I could’ve done. I was able to visit and love on my friends and family for two days and then I had to return home. Which broke my heart even more. I got back to school extremely tired, because I decided traveling all night and into the morning was a good idea. I skipped church to sleep and tunneled my way into my bed and I cried. I cried enough to quench this awful California drought. But because I was too proud I decided that I was fine and I would get over it. I continued going to school and going through the motions and nothing change. I felt like I was stuck in the dark and I didn’t know what to do. I began to journal, read, do yoga just to help me feel better. And one night I came home with a letter from my best friend (and if you are reading this know that I love you so much) and in that letter she told me that her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and I can’t remember what stage, but I just knew that it was serious. And that, my friends, was my breaking point. I at my dorm desk at 1 in the morning and I cried until my roommate new that something was wrong. And I am so blessed to have a roommate that cares so much for me. But I remember her asking me what was wrong and I said everything. I was mad at God for making life so unfair, I was mad at myself for all the choices I made that led to this moment in a place so far from home, I was mad at my friends, I was mad at my parents for thinking I could do this, and I was just mad. And my sweet, sweet roommate hugged me and asked me if I wanted a blessing from our friend Stephen. And those who are not familiar with the LDS or Mormon religion, a blessing is exactly what it sounds like. A man who has authority and the power lays his hands on your head in order to give you guidance and comfort by expressing the things that God would like you to know. And for many of you that may seem very abstract and out-there but to me it was very familiar. However, I said no. I didn’t want to bother Stephen especially because I told him recently that I was mad at him and that we were just acquaintances. And yet Nicole helped me put on a sweater and walk over to the boy’s dorms. And Stephen being the kind person that he is, spoke to me about what I was feeling and then gave me a blessing. And I felt this great weight of comfort and stability come around me like a hug as he spoke clearly and calmly about how God was watching out for me. In a time where my Mom and Dad couldn’t hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. My best friends were able to lift me up in such a way as to help me finish my freshman year and do it happily. (And if you must know I told Stephen we were friends again after this encounter). The only thing I regret about my freshman year is that I didn’t enjoy it sooner. And I know that every college student doesn’t commune with God, has great roommates or even has trouble moving away. But I did. And I know that I am not alone in this. Which is the exact the reason I am writing this very post. Because you can do it. You may not be able to do it alone, but what fun would that be.