Change is good. 1/11-1/18

Hey friends! How's it going? I hope you are doing swell. I for one am doing pretty well. And it feels weird to say that because I never thought life would end up quite like this. If you keep up with my blog or just with me in general you know I moved and I just finished my second week since I moved here. And I don't know why I was so worried.

Actually I do know why.

Because everytime I try to do something I usually end up falling on my face.

So I was verry terrified that this would be one of those things.

But I am doing great.

School is really tough right now and I feel like I never have time to do homework. But I like to just ignore that part and focus on the positive things. But since being here I have actually unpacked and decorated my room and I made friends. And I am really excited about this.

I thought I forgot how to make friends. I haven't actually had to make friends since freshman year of high school. I usually just waited for Nicole to make friends and then they had to hang out with me too and it work relitively well.

But I knew no one going to into this.

I made myself go to things. Which was like way out of my comfort zone. But I did it. And that is how I made my three friends. Shout out to Sam, Daniel and Melanie! They are wonderful and make my life a lot more fun.

And we've hung out 3x but we just became really good friends on Monday. And even though they creamed in Settlers of Catan, I plan on keeping them around.

Also I have been asked on a lot of dates. Like what?
Where is this coming for?
On Friday I got asked on three dates. THREE. And I don't say to be cocky but oh my gosh where did this come from? Why am I getting so much attention? What is life?

I spent all of high school putting myself down because I had this idea that no one would ever want to date me because I am too weird, loud, smart and the list goes on. That is what I thought about in high school when I could've been thinking about important things. I made my life miserable because of boys.

You know what I was told this weekend by two guys? That I was awesome and the best date that they've had in a long time. Mind blown.

I spent high school thinking I sucked when I actually am awesome.

What I hope you get from this long post about my life is that you don't suck. How dare you let anything in your life make you feel like that. You're awesome and you don't need boys, your mom, your boss, friends, strangers, or anyone else to tell you that. You can do hard things. I am a living testament of it because I made friends and I am doing really well. You can too.

I have learned so much about myself this year.

I know this is a cliche but if someone came to me a year ago and tolld me this was going to be my life I would laugh. And I would laugh my big belly loud cackle in their face because this was not how I planned my life at all.

Funny how that happens huh?

This past year was really hard but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I am so grateful for my blog and how great you guys are. Looing at my blog makes me feel so loved and supported. I did a lot of fun things in the past and it's kid of incredible. I just hit 6000 views and that's amazing. I've had people that I haven't talked to in years stop me in the store and tell me that they love my blog. And I feel so honored. I love that feeling and I am glad you let me share my expereices with you.

This being said. This will be my last post. This blog has been good to me, but I feel like it is time to move on to a new project. I am hoping to get a vlog up and running once I decide on the camera and mic that I want to use and I am currently working on writing a TV series, in addition to real life responsibilities like work and 7 classess... But I like staying busy.

One last request. Never talk yourself out of complimenting someone. The times that people told me about my blog never weirded me out. It made me keep going, it made me feel special. I felt happy. So never chicken out, just say.

Usually I say till next time and it makes me sad that there won't be a next time. Well, at least for a while.
Good-bye!
- M

Bunk Beds and Throbbing Heads 1/4 - 1/10

Man I have only been back in Provo for about a week but it feels like I have been here for much longer. Weeks here go quickly but are so full that by the time the next one starts you've barely recharged. I have about 13 weeks left in the semester which is also terrifying and exhilarating.

Being in a new ward, new apartment, and new classes was quite a bit overwhelming. I am not going to lie, sometimes it was too overwhelming and I was left crying in a random hallway on campus. But I made it through this first week and it was good.

I am taking 7 class this semester, 16 credits, and work about 15 hours a week. I am busy, busy, busy. But it's the life I chose.

My whole life I was always associated with a group. Oh you're part of the Scholz family, you are so&so's friend, you are this person's blankity-blank and so on. And for a long time it bothered me. I didn't want to be just this person that didn't have a name and was just associated with someone else but it happed all the time. I was never someone's friend, I was part of the group that was friends with someone. I felt weighed down by that. But I am here on my own and it is terrifying. I don't know how people just go and do this but I am. It is wonderful because I am not lumped into the three musketeers or into some group people know me as me. It doesn't matter if my roommates are with or not because they recognize me by myself.

The most amazing feeling in the world is to be walking around church and for people to ask, "Hey you are Michaella, right?" Saying yes has never been more exciting. I've only been here a week and yet I've talked to and befriend more people at church than in this last semester. It is exciting. I am excited.

If I could just get the dating scene down too. But we can't always have it all.
So we just keep trying.
Till next time,
- M

10 tips on How to Handle Going Back to School

Christmas comes and goes. New year's comes and goes. And then suddenly you are back to the grind and slumming your backpack around with you again. Coming back to school and getting used to your schedule is no small task. Especially after being home and not having to be an adult for a couple weeks. This is especially hard for me so I decided to give not only some advice to you, but to me. So let's begin.

1. Don't freak out - I am really bad at this. Like very bad. Like I have had to text my Mom because I am freaking out about all the work and crap I have to do. It is only the first week back. You are going to have all semester to do all the assignments that are listed in your multiple syllabi (syllabuses?). Take a deep breath. The beginning of the semester is just the beginning.

2. Allow for some wiggle room - The first week back to school can be a little hectic. You are waiting for books. Running from class to class. Adding and dropping class. In addition to dealing with loose ends from last semester. Everyone is getting readjusted which means that everyone knows that things are still getting organized and moving around still. AND because they know this they will understand. Your life isn't the only hectic one. Help each other out.

3. Go see your friends - Really go do this. Remind yourself that there are people that you love that go to the same school as you. And you can't hang out with them in your hometown, so take advantage of that.

4. See what your school has to offer - Speaking of taking advantage, most schools have events, free food and activities to commemorate the beginning of a new semester. Grab a friend, make a friend and go get a free pen and some food. You are paying tuition for another semester, you might as well do the fun stuff too.

5. Relax. Meditate. Rejuvinate. - Just because you are back to the grind doesn't mean you can just go from those lazy days laying at home doing nothing into a 20 hour work day. And why would you want to (maybe you have to... I appologize) make sure that you take a moment to rest. Even if it is just for 20 minutes. Take a walk, take a nap, make some real food. You'll have a better semester if you don't burn yourself out within the first couple of days.

6. Go to sleep - This is one thing I will never understand about college students. Why would you ever want to pull an all-nighter? It takes your body three days to recooperate after loosing that much sleep. I think I read somewhere that someone who pulls an all-nighter and a drunk person have the same mental and physcial capabilites. Sleep with help you get back into a routine and make sure you are able to do what your classes need you to do.

7. Moral Support - Find some. Cherish it. This is pretty self-explanatory. Life is so much better when there is someone cheering you on. I am not above texting someone and asking for a pep talk. I do it all the time. My friends don't mind pumping me up and it helps me stay focused on the good things and not stress.

8. Eat - This is one I could do a lot better considering I ate 3 peanut butter sandwiches today. Eating is really important and often gets thrown to the side when we get busy. But not eating has a lot of consequences. I often get headaches, stomach aches and then I can't focus. So even though you are really busy and juggling a million things make sure one of those things is a protien bar or a peanut butter sandwich.

9. It's okay to cry - If you've read my blog you know I am a big advocate of crying. Emotions happen and we shouldn't be embarrassed about it. Maybe you don't cry but you are angry, sad, nervous etc. Feel these emotions and expereince them but don't let them hinder you. We can't be happy all the time meaning we should be sad all the time either.

10.Enjoy the weekend - When you finish that first week back, celebrate! Take a moment to enjoy the fact that you started a new semester! That somehow you did what you needed to do. Don't spend all day doing that homework, go out for a little bit and enjoy yourself. You deserve it!

I hope you learned something or were able to find something to make going back to school that much easier. If you have some tips for me I would love to hear them. You can comment below or email me.
Till next time,
- M

New year. New Me?

I feel really emotional.

And that is nothing new. And yet it still makes me mad. I get frustrated with how easily I cry. Especially now that I really don't have any space. I moved into a new apartment. With a bunk bed, Flash back to when I was in elementry school. And the giant crack between the wall and my top bunk is not the only thing scaring me.

I am really bad at change, which makes college really hard for me. For the maximum amount of time where things stay the same is 4 months. I long for the day when I don't have to be afraid of change.

But for now change knocks me around all the time.

Friday night I drove from Hanford to Pacific, stay the night, woke up really early in the morning, drove to Oakland and got on a plane. I landed in Provo packed up my apartment and moved my stuff to the new one. And no one was there. For like hours. You know what is nerve-wracking? Being in a place that technically part yours but feeling as if you don't belong. And then not knowing when any of them are coming back. So I cried a lot that day. And today too. Go me.

I am almost moved in.

Except the kitchen, they have a weird system. And I have been told that I need to move my dishes and label my food and lots of other things which is bad. But when one of your roommates comes to you and says, "Hey we are just trying to be really accomadating," and then just stares at you. The maybe  sincere comment just made feel on the outside. I sit in my room and I hear them commenting on how they need to sit me down and tell me how the apartment runs. So I sit in my room with my headphones in as they all catch up because I am the new girl. And not the mysterious cool girl, just the girl who put her go-gurt in the wrong place.

Who knows maybe I'll figure out the right place to put my go-gurt.
Till next time.
- M