Man I have only been back in Provo for about a week but it feels like I have been here for much longer. Weeks here go quickly but are so full that by the time the next one starts you've barely recharged. I have about 13 weeks left in the semester which is also terrifying and exhilarating.
Being in a new ward, new apartment, and new classes was quite a bit overwhelming. I am not going to lie, sometimes it was too overwhelming and I was left crying in a random hallway on campus. But I made it through this first week and it was good.
I am taking 7 class this semester, 16 credits, and work about 15 hours a week. I am busy, busy, busy. But it's the life I chose.
My whole life I was always associated with a group. Oh you're part of the Scholz family, you are so&so's friend, you are this person's blankity-blank and so on. And for a long time it bothered me. I didn't want to be just this person that didn't have a name and was just associated with someone else but it happed all the time. I was never someone's friend, I was part of the group that was friends with someone. I felt weighed down by that. But I am here on my own and it is terrifying. I don't know how people just go and do this but I am. It is wonderful because I am not lumped into the three musketeers or into some group people know me as me. It doesn't matter if my roommates are with or not because they recognize me by myself.
The most amazing feeling in the world is to be walking around church and for people to ask, "Hey you are Michaella, right?" Saying yes has never been more exciting. I've only been here a week and yet I've talked to and befriend more people at church than in this last semester. It is exciting. I am excited.
If I could just get the dating scene down too. But we can't always have it all.
So we just keep trying.
Till next time,
- M
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