Let's Talk About Virginia

From bleeding through a swim suit, to using make-shift tampons, even the mortifying experience of having someone walking in on you, puberty is embarrassing. I remember being in fifth grade when boys and girls were split up into separate rooms to have “the talk” about their bodies and then sent home with pamphlets-and in the girl’s cases pads, tampons, and panty liners. Now, I would never refuse free tampons; however, at that age, I was traumatized. The school made a huge deal of separating the girls and boys up and we were told that if we talked about what we learned with members of the opposite sex we would be penalized. Due to our embarrassment, we girls were too scared to even talk about it with each other. I came home to my parents wanting to talk with me about what I had learned but it was the last thing I wanted to discuss. This was when the term the “Virginia” was introduced. The word “vagina” embarrassed me, so my parents called it the “Virginia.”  Something about saying the real word was weird and I know I’m not alone in that.  

            If we avoid talking about vaginas, we run into various problems. Girls can start their periods basically whenever their bodies feel like it; some start at age eight and others at the age 14, (Kid’s Health). Blood coming from your crotch is a terrifying experience for a ten-year-old girl. Marissa, as a fourth grader, was convinced that she had cut herself but instead of talking to her mom she just went along merrily throwing away her underwear until her mom figured it out. As kids we form a view of the world that becomes our set point for everything that occurs in our lives. For Marissa a period was new and needed to be accommodated to her view of the world.  When her mother found out it was much to Marissa’s surprise that the world wasn’t as she believed her previous set point now needed accommodating. When does a parent know to bring up the talk? For girls like Marissa the fifth grade “talk” is ineffective. Although not every girl starts menstruating when they are ten, there are plenty that do. These girls need to know about their body before the end of the fifth grade.

            Comprehensive Sexuality Education is a program that begins early in kindergarten with age appropriate material and progresses through the grades. Comprehensive Sexuality Education as defined by the Sexuality Information and Educational Council of the United States (SIECUS) is an educational program that focuses on more than 36 age appropriate topics covering from basic human development, abstinence, contraception (Comprehensive Sexuality Education). Often, when people hear the words “children” and “sex education,” they tend to tune it out or freak out. Very few are willing to explain the roles of vaginas and penises to kids, and that is wherein the problem lies. There is no definite time for the “talk,” whether the “talk” be about puberty or sex. Comprehensive Sexuality Education is successful because of the way it handles the subjects. Teachers try to teach in an environment where it is appropriate to talk about our bodies, breaking down the awkwardness that can come with sex education. These topics are extremely important if not more important than other subjects taught in school because whether we like it or not we have these organs and we see the daily repercussions of them. By educating children earlier on the importance of their body we can save them from feeling alone whether they’re early or late bloomers.

Even after we are comfortable with what is going on with our own bodies we are usually embarrassed to talk about it. In the 7^th grade the feminine product dispensers were taken out of the bathrooms and replaced with a paper sign that read, “If you need a pad/tampon, come to the office and they will give you one.” For most people it was not a problem they either had not started yet or they came to school prepared. Every once in a while you would get that girl who was frantically asking her friends to save her from embarrassment and frankly, her underwear. When she asked me, a late bloomer, I responded, “Why don’t you just go ask for one in the office?” From my lack of understanding I received an earful convincing me that it just might be embarrassing. However, in my head it seemed a lot easier to just walk to the office get the product, use the bathroom, and be done with it. All of the workers in the office were women and would have been understanding. There would have been no giggling, no waving of the pad and announcing the incident. Yet, we are so scared to talk about the fact that we are menstruating. Having had the idea that it is inappropriate to talk about such topics as penises, vaginas, and sex drilled into our brains at a young age it is no wonder that there is this sense of filthiness surrounding such topics. These are natural bodily topics and ones we will be forced to talk about at some point in our lives, so why not start young?

We are taught to be proud of who we are, and our body is a part of our identity, and so we should teach young children about their bodies so they can be truly proud of who they are not embarrassed or ashamed. Teaching that talking about bodies is inappropriate lends itself to crude jokes. If I haven’t proven my point just start counting the many times you’ve seen penises drawn on desks, the many times the penis game is played, or how many derogatory nicknames there are for the word vagina. Teaching students earlier about their bodies could reduce this embarrassment or humor that comes with the “talk.”  It is extremely important that children, adolescents, and adults alike feel comfortable with talking about their own body. If they don’t, they tend to rely on sources such as Yahoo Answers, Urban Dictionary, and Web M.D. which may be helpful in some situations but I highly doubt “ilovepeanutbutter86” can answer all your questions about your vaginal problems.

I’m not asking you to use the vagina in everyday situations but to merely overcome the embarrassment of using the word. We should be able to talk to our kids, parents, or doctors with the confidence that body functions are not embarrassing or scary but instead a part of life. Take a stand and use the word vagina instead of “Virginia.”